Welfare Was Never Intended to Be a Career Opportunity

Welfare Was Never Intended to Be a Career Opportunity

When You're Already Off the Clock and Your Boss Asks For a Favor

When You're Already Off the Clock and Your Boss Asks For a Favor

Woman running away from a guy standing outside a car.

Little Guy Got Exhausted After a Long Day

Little Guy Got Exhausted After a Long Day

Cat laying on its back on a pillow on the couch.

You look like my real father

At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "You look like my real father."

When Asked Why You'd Be Suited to the Job

When Asked Why You'd Be Suited to the Job

Pass an ancient scroll along the desk and say, "It was foretold." and stare at them.

Remember, Every Question Is a Test

Remember, Every Question Is a Test

So when they say, "How are you?" reply, "Goal oriented, thank you."

Be Confident, But Subtle

Be Confident, But Subtle

Tap 'team player' in Morse code on the desk with a pen.

When Asked to Describe Yourself in 5 Words

When Asked to Describe Yourself in 5 Words

Say "Atrocious counting skills".  Laugh.  Open packet of Mini Eggs.

Employers Check Facebook Accounts

Employers Check Facebook Accounts

So make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air.

Show You're Good at Delegating Responsibility by Sending Someone Else to the Interview

Show You're Good at Delegating Responsibility by Sending Someone Else to the Interview

Know the Interviewers Name and Use It During the Interview

Know the Interviewers Name and Use It During the Interview

If you're not sure what it is, call them "Jobsy" or "Jobbo".

Cuz I'm Gonna Be Cooking

Cuz I'm Gonna Be Cooking

When it's your turn to ask a question in a job interview say, "Does this job come with a free apron cuz I'm gonna be cooking."  Then fire finger gun.

Maybe Now People Will Stop Stealing My Lunch at Work

Maybe Now People Will Stop Stealing My Lunch at Work

A lunch bag that says Human Organ For Transplant in the refrigerator.

FYI: To whoever stole my water bottle...

FYI:  To whoever stole my water bottle...

It had my estrogen supplements in it.

Have fun with that!

:-)

When You Get Paid Biweekly

When You Get Paid Biweekly

Week One:  Surf and Turf
Week Two:  Ice Soup

Why would you buy lobster and steak week one if the money runs out before the next paycheck?

What To Do After The Job Interview When You're Standing In A Closet That You Thought Was The Exit

What To Do After The Job Interview When You're Standing In A Closet That You Thought Was The Exit

Yeah, That Sounds Worth It

So, if I put the kids in daycare and work, I'll bring home exactly $56 after paying for daycare.

Yeah, That Sounds Worth It

When You Hate Your Job So You Just Go to the Bathroom and Sit There Like...

When You Hate Your Job So You Just Go to the Bathroom and Sit There Like...

It's Monday Again...Oh Wait, I'm Retired!!!

It's Monday Again...Oh Wait, I'm Retired!!!

I'm upset because I have to wear real clothes

I'm not upset that tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work.  I'm upset because I have to wear real clothes