You look like my real father

At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "You look like my real father."

When Asked Why You'd Be Suited to the Job

When Asked Why You'd Be Suited to the Job

Pass an ancient scroll along the desk and say, "It was foretold." and stare at them.

Remember, Every Question Is a Test

Remember, Every Question Is a Test

So when they say, "How are you?" reply, "Goal oriented, thank you."

Be Confident, But Subtle

Be Confident, But Subtle

Tap 'team player' in Morse code on the desk with a pen.

When Asked to Describe Yourself in 5 Words

When Asked to Describe Yourself in 5 Words

Say "Atrocious counting skills".  Laugh.  Open packet of Mini Eggs.

Employers Check Facebook Accounts

Employers Check Facebook Accounts

So make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air.

Show You're Good at Delegating Responsibility by Sending Someone Else to the Interview

Show You're Good at Delegating Responsibility by Sending Someone Else to the Interview

Know the Interviewers Name and Use It During the Interview

Know the Interviewers Name and Use It During the Interview

If you're not sure what it is, call them "Jobsy" or "Jobbo".

Cuz I'm Gonna Be Cooking

Cuz I'm Gonna Be Cooking

When it's your turn to ask a question in a job interview say, "Does this job come with a free apron cuz I'm gonna be cooking."  Then fire finger gun.