A collection of all the stuff I am bombarded with every day on Facebook and email and Twitter and so forth. Almost all of it is stuff that was sent to me and I did not request. I don't know where most of it came from other than the person that dropped it on me.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
I'm Hilarious
95% of the time when I'm smiling at my phone it's because of something I said, not something someone sent me. I'm hilarious.
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
It's almost time for bed, so I guess I'll just check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...
It's almost time for bed, so I guess I'll just check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and one full season of a TV show on Netflix real quick.
When Your Wife Stares at Her Phone For Eight Hours and Then You Eat Salad Out of Mason Jars
My wife is addicted to Pinterest. If you don't know what Pinterest is, it's when your wife stares at her phone for eight hours and then you eat salad out of mason jars.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
OK, Dad...I'm Sorry
OK, Dad...I'm Sorry
There! You've finished training. When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all, then you're ready to get married.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Creamy Broccoli Casserole
Creamy Broccoli Casserole
1 (16 ounce) package frozen broccoli
1 (6 ounce) can condensed cream of celery soup
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup cheese crackers
1 -2 tablespoon instant minced onion or 1 -2 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon butter or 1 tablespoon margarine
1 (6 ounce) can condensed cream of celery soup
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup cheese crackers
1 -2 tablespoon instant minced onion or 1 -2 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon butter or 1 tablespoon margarine
Preheat oven 350. Prepare broccoli by package and drain. Combine soup, mayo, eggs, cheese, onions, and stir in broccoli. Pour into 1-1/2 quart greased baking dish. Melt butter. Crush crackers and mix with butter. Sprinkle over top of broccoli mixture. Bake for 45-55 minute.
Bake for 45-55 minutes.
Bake for 45-55 minutes.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Offered These Guys a Job. They Said No.
Offered These Guys a Job. They Said No.
A guy with a sign standing behind two guys begging for money.
The Next Guy Who Comes at Me With His High Beams On...
The Next Guy Who Comes at Me With His High Beams On...
A little car with a giant spot light mounted to the roof.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Starbucks Lemon Loaf
Starbucks Lemon Loaf
1 1/2 cup(s) FLOUR
1/2 teaspoon(s) BAKING SODA
1/2 teaspoon(s) BAKING POWDER
1/2 teaspoon(s) SALT
3 EGGS
1 cup(s) SUGAR
2 tablespoon(s) BUTTER; Softened.
1 teaspoon(s) VANILLA
1 teaspoon(s) LEMON EXTRACT
1/3 cup(s) LEMON JUICE
1/2 cup(s) OIL (recommend coconut oil)
LEMON ICING
1 cup(s) POWDERED SUGAR; Plus 1 Tablespoon.
2 tablespoon(s) WHOLE MILK; I Used 2%.
1/2 teaspoon(s) LEMON EXTRACT
Monday, December 14, 2015
I Don't Care What the Song Says. I Don't Smell.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Expected Chocolate Chip, But It's Oatmeal Raisin
Expected Chocolate Chip, But It's Oatmeal Raisin
They have the cookie names mixed up. That is the face one makes when you expect oatmeal raisin and get chocolate chip.
Seriously people, there are other ingredients for desserts than chocolate.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Did You Know Ford Is Making a Heated Tailgate?
Did You Know Ford Is Making a Heated Tailgate?
So your hands stay warm when you're pushing it home in the winter.
Put Bob the Builder on the Phone
I Need Someone Qualified For This Construction Job. Put Bob the Builder on the Phone.
A toddler in a high chair acting like he is talking on a toy phone while eating breakfast.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
HACIENDA WET BURRITO COPY-CAT RECIPE
HACIENDA WET BURRITO COPY-CAT RECIPE
1 (3 lb) chuck roast, trim outer fat
1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt (I use Johnnie's)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon fresh coarse ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
3 tablespoons vegetable oil, more if needed
1 (14 ounce) can beef broth
2 packets (1 ounce each) Lawry's taco seasoning mix
1 teaspoon Frank's red hot sauce
1 tablespoon butter
6 to 8 large flour tortillas, burrito-sized
refried beans
thinly sliced tomato
shredded lettuce
1 (32 ounce) package Colby-Monterey jack cheese, shredded
sour cream
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Garlic Onion Virginia Ham and Swiss Sandwich
Garlic Onion Virginia Ham and Swiss Sandwich
2 -12 packages of sweet Hawaiian rolls
1 1/2 lbs of Virginia ham
12 slices Swiss cheese
1 stick of real butter
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Garlic Powder
1 teaspoon Onion Powder
1 teaspoon poppy seeds
1 1/2 lbs of Virginia ham
12 slices Swiss cheese
1 stick of real butter
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Garlic Powder
1 teaspoon Onion Powder
1 teaspoon poppy seeds
Directions:
You will need two 9 x 13 pans. Place the bottoms of 12 rolls in each pan. Place ham (about 2 shaved slices or so) on the rolls. Cut the cheese slices into 4 parts and place 2 small pieces on each sandwich. Put the dinner roll tops on. In a sauce pan, mix butter, Worcestershire sauce, onion powder, garlic powder and poppy seeds. Wait until all butter is melted and then brush the melted mixture over the ham sandwiches. Cover with foil and let sit in fridge for 1 hour or over night. (If you want to bake them right away, you can also.) Preheat oven to 375 and bake for 15 minutes or until cheese is melted. Serve. Great hot or not.
You will need two 9 x 13 pans. Place the bottoms of 12 rolls in each pan. Place ham (about 2 shaved slices or so) on the rolls. Cut the cheese slices into 4 parts and place 2 small pieces on each sandwich. Put the dinner roll tops on. In a sauce pan, mix butter, Worcestershire sauce, onion powder, garlic powder and poppy seeds. Wait until all butter is melted and then brush the melted mixture over the ham sandwiches. Cover with foil and let sit in fridge for 1 hour or over night. (If you want to bake them right away, you can also.) Preheat oven to 375 and bake for 15 minutes or until cheese is melted. Serve. Great hot or not.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Saturday, December 5, 2015
I Think He Knows What His Christmas Present Is
I Think He Knows What His Christmas Present Is
A cat sleeping on a Christmas package shaped like a cat bed.
Friday, December 4, 2015
Mumbling Along To a Song You Don't Really Know
Mumbling Along To a Song You Don't Really Know
But that 15 second part you do know is coming and you're gonna own that.
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