Saturday, November 29, 2014

Pick Your Battles


Pick Your Battles

Some things are better left alone.

Don't Make Me Mad and Then Tell Me to Calm Down


Don't Make Me Mad and Then Tell Me to Calm Down

That is like shooting someone and then wondering why they're bleeding.

Test. I Can Take Tests.


I see you did well in school, but what real-world skills do you have?

Test.  I Can Take Tests.

The Burden of Failure Is Far Heavier Than That Barbell


The Burden of Failure Is Far Heavier Than That Barbell

Don't make excuses to skimp on your training.  Give your all every time.

Friday, November 28, 2014

If You Continuously Compete With Others You Become Bitter


If You Continuously Compete With Others You Become Bitter.

If you continuously compete with yourself you become better.

Of course you don't make mistakes dear


Of course you don't make mistakes dear...You'd have to get off the couch!

The World Is full of Guys, Be a Man


The World Is full of Guys, Be a Man

I'll Pinch Your Head Off!


I'll Pinch Your Head Off!

Spock executing the Vulcan neck pinch on someone.

Don't Make Yourself the Subject of Everything


Don't Make Yourself the Subject of Everything

Sue gave the tickets to Rob and me

NOT

Rob and I

Guess Which Year This Was the Schedule on Nickelodeon


Guess Which Year This Was the Schedule on Nickelodeon

Rugrats
The Busy World of Richard Scarry
Rupert
Muppet Babies
Allegra's Window
Gullah Gullah Island
Little Bear
Blue's Clues
The Busy World of Richard Scarry
Papa Beaver's Storytime
Looney Tunes on Nickelodeon
Beetlejuice
Tiny Toon Adventures
Muppet Babies
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Inspector Gadget
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Rocko's Modern Life
Clarissa Explains It All
Tiny Toon Adventures
Doug
Rugrats
Hey Arnold!  (Mon/Wed) The Secret World of Alex Mack

"Magic: The Gathering"


Dog:  "Magic:  The Gathering"  Wow...you're really letting your nerd flag fly, eh?
Rabbit: Actually, it's a geek flag.  Nerds are more academically inclined.  While we geeks are just super-passionate about our hobbies.
Dog:  I see.  And the people who know and care about this difference are called...?
Rabbit:  I believe "dork" is the preferred nomenclature.

And Then I Said, "The Doctor Will Be With You in a Minute!"


And Then I Said, "The Doctor Will Be With You in a Minute!"

A couple of nurses laughing together.

Got Out of Bed This Morning and Stepped in a Big Pile of Monday


Got Out of Bed This Morning and Stepped in a Big Pile of Monday

I Am NOT A Product of My Circumstances


I Am NOT A Product of My Circumstances.

I AM a product of My Decisions.

A Black Cat Crossing Your Path Signifies...


A Black Cat Crossing Your Path Signifies...

The animal is going somewhere.

If we're not meant to have midnight snacks...


If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Guess Which Side Had their Food Taken Away For Going Into Debt


Guess Which Side Had their Food Taken Away For Going Into Debt

On the left, a presidential breakfast at the white house.  On the right, an elementary school cafeteria with kids eating lunch.

Summersault vs Wintersault


Summersault vs Wintersault

A guy in sweat clothes doing a Summersault.

A guy in a coat, mittens, and a scarf slipping on some ice and flipping in the air.

The Groundhog Said Six More Weeks of Winter. So I Ate Him.


The Groundhog Said Six More Weeks of Winter.  So I Ate Him.

Alpaca Lunch


Wanna go on a picnic?

Alpaca Lunch

What is your 'fair share' of what someone else has worked for?


Since This Is An Era When Many People Are Concerned About 'Fairness' and 'Social Justice'

What is your 'fair share' of what someone else has worked for?

Caution: Loaded With Political Promises


Caution:  Loaded With Political Promises

A truck hauling portable toilets.

Making A Small Dog Sweater and Cap Out of a Sock


Making A Small Dog Sweater and Cap Out of a Sock

Cut off the top of the sock and discard.

Cut leg holes in either side of the heal.

Cut off the toe of the sock for a cap..  Cut ear holes in either side.

Nice Tan, What's your Race? Carrot?


Nice Tan, What's your Race?  Carrot?

If It Wasn't For My Incredible Will Power, I Would Be Exercising Right Now


If It Wasn't For My Incredible Will Power, I Would Be Exercising Right Now

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

You're Off to Great Places!


You're Off to Great Places!

Today is your day.  Your mountain is waiting.  So...get on your way!

You Can't Spell Legendary Without Leg Day


You Can't Spell Legendary Without Leg Day

I DO NOT Have a Waddle


I DO NOT Have a Waddle

It is called Pregnancy Swag.

On Their Way to the Gym to Ride Stationary Bicycles


Let's Have A Moment of Silence For All Those Who Are Stuck In Traffic On Their Way to the Gym to Ride Stationary Bicycles.

If Kanye and Kim Were Both Drowning


If Kanye and Kim Were Both Drowning

And you only had time to save one...what kind of sandwich would you make?

Make You Own Mosquito Repellent Spray


Make You Own Mosquito Repellent Spray

1-1/2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon Castor Oil
8 drops rosemary essential oil
8 drops lemongrass essential oil
4 drops geranium essential oil

Directions:
Add all ingredients to a 2 ounce amber spray bottle.  Shake and spray.

The Moment He Realized He Was Now The Middle Child


The Moment He Realized He Was Now The Middle Child

Genetics Is Not An Excuse


Genetics Is Not An Excuse

Bart Simpson which this sentence on a chalk board.

What Are You Hunting, Flamingos?


I hate it when women wear pick camo.

What Are You Hunting, Flamingos?

iHad


iHad

An iPad with a totally smashed screen.

When You Try and Kill A Spider, But Miss and Can't Find It


When You Try and Kill A Spider, But Miss and Can't Find It

A guy sitting on top of a door, drinking a soda out of a straw.

What Is Red and Bad For Your Teeth?


What Is Red and Bad For Your Teeth?

A Brick.

The Oscars - Best Actor: President Barack Obama


The Oscars - Best Actor:  President Barack Obama

For "If you like your plan, you can keep it."

I Got Fat For Christmas


Do You What I Got For Christmas?  Fat.  I got fat for Christmas.

I Don't Always Dodge Potholes


I Don't Always Dodge Potholes

But when I do, I hit four more.

Fortunately, the Oreo Cookie Says Not To Worry

According to the Mayan calendar, the world is ending this month.

Fortunately, the Oreo cookie says not to worry.