I'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips

I'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips

A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad.

A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man.  A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad.

Women Never Know What They Want. Men Never Know What They Have.

Women Never Know What They Want.  Men Never Know What They Have.

Chocolate Is To Women What Duct Tape Is To Men

Chocolate Is To Women What Duct Tape Is To Men

It fixes everything!

I Too Was Once a Male Trapped in a Female Body

I Too Was Once a Male Trapped in a Female Body

But then my mother gave birth.

Things My Husband Can Sleep Through

Things My Husband Can Sleep Through:
Kids screaming, "Stay out of my room!"
Banging and clanging of pots and pans.
A dog barking at a motorcycle race on the TV.

Things that wake him up:
Clicking on a tiny book light in bed.  "Ughhhh, what's that light?"

Men vs Women on Social Media

Men vs Women on Social Media

A woman with many microphones in front of her.  A man next to her with no microphone.

Women Who Say "I Want a Bad Boy" Are Clueless

Women Who Say "I Want a Bad Boy" Are Clueless

What you need is a man who will break someone's face for you, but will also make you breakfast in bed.

Finds a Random Corpse in the Woods...Kisses It

Finds a Random Corpse in the Woods...Kisses It

...aaaand that tells you everything you need to know about men.

The World Is full of Guys, Be a Man

The World Is full of Guys, Be a Man

Men Have Feelings, Too

Men Have Feelings, Too

For instance, sometimes we feel hungry.

It's not in there, I looked.

When a man says, "It's not in there, I looked," that doesn't mean it's not in there.

9 Out Of 10 Husbands Agree That Their Wives Are Always Right

9 Out Of 10 Husbands Agree That Their Wives Are Always Right

The 10th husband hasn't been seen since the study was conducted.