I Used to Care
But I take a pill for that now.
Friday, March 28, 2014
I Often Worry About the Safety of My Children
I Often Worry About the Safety of My Children
Especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me and talking back right now.
but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken
You may have a hot body, but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who's the real winner?
Life would be easier if we could mark people as spam
Life would be easier if we could mark people as spam.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
The Articles of Faith Help Sheet
The Articles of Faith Help Sheet
Short little rhymes for each of the thirteen Articles of Faith.
Monday, March 24, 2014
The Whole Neighborhood Gets Tomatoes
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to garden, and the whole neighborhood gets tomatoes.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Friday, March 21, 2014
It's not in there, I looked.
When a man says, "It's not in there, I looked," that doesn't mean it's not in there.
When A Woman Says, "Do Whatever You Want."
When A Woman Says, "Do Whatever You Want."
Do NOT do whatever you want!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
I Have Made A Huge Mistake
I Have Made A Huge Mistake
A toddler slipping through the rails of the top bunk of a bunk bed and not being able to reach the floor. He is stuck hanging there.
I'd Take a Bullet For You...
I'd Take a Bullet For You...
Not in the head, but like the leg or something.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
You've already said, "What?" three times
That awkward moment when:
You've already said, "What?" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
Monsters Inc or Monsters University Lies
Monsters Inc. - Mike: You've been jealous of my good looks since the 4th grade pal.
Monsters U - Mike and Sully meet in college.
LIES!
We've all hidden our favorite food from our family at least once.
Admit it. We've all hidden our favorite food from our family at least once.
Friday, March 14, 2014
NASA Successfully lands a rover on Mars. Gets defunded.
NASA Successfully lands a rover on Mars. Gets defunded.
Apple - Can't find the nearest Starbucks. Richest company on the planet.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Always Give 100% at Work
Always Give 100% at Work
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Grandmother: Doesn't Have Facebook, Still Remembers Your Birthday
Grandmother: Doesn't Have Facebook, Still Remembers Your Birthday
I Just Did 9 Months on the Inside
I Just Did 9 Months on the Inside
An orange baby jumper shaped made to look like a prison suit.
Friday, March 7, 2014
I Hate Leap Year!
I Hate Leap Year!
It's always got that extra day in it.
Two inmates sitting on their bunks in their cells.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Little Stephen King Reads His First Story in Class
Little Stephen King Reads His First Story in Class
Little first graders are running out of the room in terror.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Chewy No-Bake Nutter Butter Bars
Chewy No-Bake Nutter Butter Bars
Ingredients
One 1 pound package of Nutter Butters
5 cups Large Marshmallows
4 tablespoons butter
Directions
1. Place Nutter Butters in food processor and pulse until ground. Melt marshmallows and butter in microwave until puffed, about 1 1/2- 2 minutes. Remove and pour in ground Cookies. Stir to combine then transfer to a foil lined 8×8 inch baking pan. Let set up for 10 minutes. Remove bars out of pan with edges of foil and cut into squares.
Makes 9-16 bars
Who Needs a $200 Crib...
Who Needs a $200 Crib...
when you can buy a $20 dog bed?
A baby and a puppy in a dog bed.
It is just a matter time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
It is just a matter time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
Whoever said, "Hard work pays off" obviously never worked for my previous employer.
Whoever said, "Hard work pays off" obviously never worked for my previous employer.
Big Brothers
Big Brothers
They think they are so funny.
One cat shoving the face of another cat into a food bowl while he is trying to eat.
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