Selective Hearing Aids for Men

Selective Hearing Aids for Men

Maybe Next Time

So apparently RSVPing back to a wedding invite "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.

I Don't Always Leave My Friends Behind, But When I Do It is Because They Don't Dance

I Don't Always Leave My Friends Behind, But When I Do It is Because They Don't Dance

And if they don't dance, well then they're no friends of mine.

I Decided to Go on a Road Trip and Not Come Back Until I Ran Out of Money

I Decided to Go on a Road Trip and Not Come Back Until I Ran Out of Money

Walked to the end of the driveway and back.

Stepping on A Garden Rake

Stepping on A Garden Rake

Remember As Days Get Colder Animals Are Attracted to the Warmth of Cars

Remember As Days Get Colder Animals Are Attracted to the Warmth of Cars, So Check Wheel Arches or Other Hiding Places

If I Have Learned Anything In My 23 Years On Earth, It's That It's Okay To Lie About Your Age

If I Have Learned Anything In My 23 Years On Earth, It's That It's Okay To Lie About Your Age

Woman Posing as If She Is Vomiting a Scenic Waterfall While Someone Holds Her Hair Back

Woman Posing as If She Is Vomiting a Scenic Waterfall While Someone Holds Her Hair Back

I Hath Indeed Mortally Wounded the Constable

I Hath Indeed Mortally Wounded the Constable

However, I firmly deny firing a high velocity projectile at his squire.

How Much Better Would Life Be If A Liar's Pants Really Did Catch Fire?

How Much Better Would Life Be If A Liar's Pants Really Did Catch Fire?

How many times would our own pants catch fire?

Well, There's the Problem. I Have No Idea What I'm Doing.

Well, There's the Problem.  I Have No Idea What I'm Doing.

A cat laying on its back under a car next to a toolbox.

These Boxes Are Up to Something

These Boxes Are Up to Something

Boxes with holes cut in them that look like shifty eyes.

R.I.P. Cleaning Fairy

R.I.P. Cleaning Fairy

Just found my cleaning fairy dead under my bed.  She was strangled to death by the dust bunnies.

Why Does a Chicken Coop Have Two Doors?

Why Does a Chicken Coop Have Two Doors?

Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

I Haven't Been Everywhere, But It's On My List

I Haven't Been Everywhere, But It's On My List

Who Is This? Call Me Caitlyn

Who Is This?  Call Me Caitlyn

She sounds hideous.  Well, she's a guy, so...

Halloween Prank: Take a Picture of Your Face Pressed Against Glass

Halloween Prank:  Take a Picture of Your Face Pressed Against Glass

Laminate it, tape it to the inside of a jar and place it in the fridge.

I Wish I Had a Twin That Was Five Minute Younger Than Me

I Wish I Had a Twin That Was Five Minute Younger Than Me

I would always say "When I was your are' and proceed to tell them what I did five minutes ago.

What Kind of Dog Is Always Amazed?

What Kind of Dog Is Always Amazed?

A chi-wow-ah.

...And Then I Heard a Loud Bang and When I Turned Back Her Was Gone

...And Then I Heard a Loud Bang and When I Turned Back Her Was Gone.

Two nails talking with on a board with a nail head flush on the board.