The Most Vulgar Character of All Time
They beeped out every single word he said.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
The Most Vulgar Character of All Time
The Most Vulgar Character of All Time
They beeped out every single word he said.
Mom, They Called Me Pugly
Mom, They Called Me Pugly
A pug dog and a pug puppy resting their noses on each other.
They Used to Call Me Names
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They Used to Call Me Names
This uniform used to be white.
Guy in big glasses and martial arts clothing.
Housework Is What a Women Does That Nobody Notices Unless She Hasn't Done It
Housework Is What a Women Does That Nobody Notices Unless She Hasn't Done It
Middle Age:
Middle Age:
That time when you finally get your head together then your body starts falling apart.
Made It Through Another Summer!
Made It Through Another Summer!
Two parents sitting in chairs in the street, hi fiving each other as their kids get on the school bus.
The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.
The doctor will be with you in a few minutes. He's trying to figure out what disease goes with your insurance.
Before Facebook I just assumed my friends knew the difference between two, to and too.
Before Facebook I just assumed my friends knew the difference between two, to and too.
Common Sense Is Not a Gift
Common Sense Is Not a Gift
It's a punishment, because you have to deal everyone who doesn't have it.
Loving the Smell of Cologne is Very Different From Loving the Smell of Colon
Loving the Smell of Cologne is Very Different From Loving the Smell of Colon
Make It Easy for Your Kids to Hold Their Cards
Make It Easy for Your Kids to Hold Their Cards
Flip and egg carton upside down and cut slits that a card can slip into.
I Enjoy Reading About Interesting Things I Could Have Been Doing
I Enjoy Spending Weekend Nights Reading About Interesting Things I Could Have Been Doing
You Don't Like Disney?
You Don't Like Disney?
DISHONOR!
Dishonor on your whole family!
Dishonor on you!
Dishonor on your cow!
I Finished Your Laundry. The Ashes Are in the Fireplace.
I Finished Your Laundry. The Ashes Are in the Fireplace.
Forget finding the right woman. Focus on being the right man.
A man once asked his father, "Father, how will I ever find the right woman?"
His father replied, "Forget finding the right woman. Focus on being the right man."
Do Not Handicap Your Children by Making Their Lives Easy
Do Not Handicap Your Children by Making Their Lives Easy
Whoever Stole Our AC Units Keep One
Whoever Stole Our AC Units Keep One
It is hot where you're going.
Alleged sign on the Glays Mill Road Baptist Church
getting the laundry into the dryer before the mildew sets in
Sometimes success is just getting the laundry into the dryer before the mildew sets in.
I'm Not Addicted to Reading
I'm Not Addicted to Reading
I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter.
The World Needs More People Holding Fish in Pictures...
The World Needs More People Holding Fish in Pictures...
And less people holding cameras in front of bathroom mirrors.
Write the Name of Someone You Hate on Your Body Every Day in Permanent Marker
Write the Name of Someone You Hate on Your Body Every Day in Permanent Marker
That way, no matter how you die, they'll become a suspect.
He's Long Gone, Sheriff. You'll Never Catch Him
He's Long Gone, Sheriff. You'll Never Catch Him
A snail citizen. A snail bandit. A snail sheriff.
The Wife's Away, So I Had to Pack My Own Lunch
The Wife's Away, So I Had to Pack My Own Lunch
A twenty dollar bill in a zipper baggie.
All these Mums who are on Pinterest, making rainbow spaghetti and homemade play dough...
I'm all like "I had a shower today and kept the kids alive - Go Me!"
Life Perspectives on Dandelions
Life Perspectives on Dandelions
Childhood: Spreads Joy
Adulthood: Spreads Weeds
19 Kids and Counting, Sister Wives, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Honey Boo Boo are all on The Learning Channel.
19 Kids and Counting, Sister Wives, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Honey Boo Boo are all on The Learning Channel.
What are we learning about, America's white trash problem?
I want you to know that someone out there cares.
I want you to know that someone out there cares.
Not me, but someone.
Only under a Godless government can you:
Only under a Godless government can you:
Legally kill your children and go to jail for disciplining them.
Banana Shelf Life
Banana Shelf Life
At 24 hours bananas green. At 48 hours bananas still green. At 72 hours bananas still green. At 73 hours bananas half way brown.
A Kid in a Hammock Under a Kitchen Table
A Kid in a Hammock Under a Kitchen Table
The hammock is made from a blanket strung around a table top to bottom.
If We Lived in a Perfect World...
If We Lived in a Perfect World...
A bowl full of Lucky Charms marshmallows.
Biggest Punishment in the History of Humanity
Biggest Punishment in the History of Humanity
A girl taped to a chair with her mouth taped and headphones secured to her head. The head phones are wired to a laptop playing Justin Beber videos.
One does not simply stop buying books
One does not simply stop buying books because one has no more bookshelf space.
Spiders Hate Peppermint Oil
Spiders Hate Peppermint Oil
Put some in a squirt bottle with water, spray your garage and all door frames, then watch the spiders run.
That should be enough. (A tanker plane dropping its payload)
Um...Excuse Me
Um...Excuse Me
We prefer to be called "White Folk"!
A grocery store isle sign listing items in the isle as Asian Foods, Hispanic Foods and Crackers.
Uh oh, guess what day it is.
Uh oh, guess what day it is.
A picture of a camel excited about it being Wednesday.
Sometimes you just need six hunnit and fiddy dollars.
Sometimes you just need six hunnit and fiddy dollars.
Partial picture of a check.
That moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you're just so hilarious.
That moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you're just so hilarious.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Where Will You Be When Diarrhea Hits
Where Will You Be When Diarrhea Hits
Woman holding onto her car door while a flood or brown liquid sweeps her from behind.
If my body was a car, I'd trade it for a newer model.
If my body was a car, I'd trade it for a newer model. Cause every time I cough or sneeze my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
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