Santa Claus Doesn't Exist, But I Can't Read, So It's Okay

Santa Claus Doesn't Exist, But I Can't Read, So It's Okay

OK! Yes! I Went to My Old Girlfriend's House Last Night! It's My Job!

OK!  Yes! I Went to My Old Girlfriend's House Last Night!  It's My Job!

Bang Someone on the Head With a Wrapping Paper Tube

No matter how old you get, it is always fun to bang someone on the head with a wrapping paper tube.

Every Child's First Shank

Every Child's First Shank

A candy cane sucked to a point.

Claus-trophobic

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?  Claus-trophobic!

The World Needs a Stable Influence

The World Needs a Stable Influence

A picture of Jesus in the manger.

You're Getting a Roll Cage for Christmas

I've seen how you drive.  You're getting a roll cage for Christmas.

For the Last Time, I Get to Put the Death Star on Top of the Tree

For the Last Time, I Get to Put the Death Star on Top of the Tree

Elf on a Shelf Frozen by Elsa

Elf on a Shelf Frozen by Elsa

I Think He Knows What His Christmas Present Is

I Think He Knows What His Christmas Present Is

A cat sleeping on a Christmas package shaped like a cat bed.

You Said I Was An Angel

You Said I Was An Angel

What do you mean get down?

A Partridge In a Pair Tree

A Partridge In a Pair Tree

Keith Partridge Photoshopped into a pair tree.

Department of Elf Surveillance Official Warning

Department of Elf Surveillance Official Warning

A form for issuing a warning to children about naughty behavior by Santa's Elves.

Abominable Snowman Giving an Elf on a Shelf a Swirly

Abominable Snowman Giving an Elf on a Shelf a Swirly

An Elf on the Shelf and a Chuckie Doll Grating a Snowman Into Marshmallows

An Elf on the Shelf and a Chuckie Doll Grating a Snowman Into Marshmallows

I Want Books, Computers...And the Ability to Travel Through Space

I Want Books, Computers...And the Ability to Travel Through Space

OK..Here's a Library Card.

What Happens Under the Mistletoe, Stays Under the Mistletoe

What Happens Under the Mistletoe, Stays Under the Mistletoe

I Don't Care What the Song Says. I Don't Smell.

I Don't Care What the Song Says.  I Don't Smell.

Batman with his head down.

A Pork Nativity Scene

A Pork Nativity Scene

Pork - Because a nativity scene alone may not be enough to upset Muslims.

I Think As You Grow Older Your Christmas List Gets Smaller

I Think As You Grow Older Your Christmas List Gets Smaller

And the things you want can't be bought.