Screaming No Longer Fazes Me

Screaming No Longer Fazes Me

I now only get up for children at the sound of broken glass or the smell of smoke.

I Make My Daughter Wear My Fitbit During Her Soccer Games

I Make My Daughter Wear My Fitbit During Her Soccer Games

While I sit on the sideline eating snacks.

Why Did You Do That?

Why Did You Do That?

The most useless parenting question ever.

Tired of Yelling to Get Your Kid's Attention? Try These:

Tired of Yelling to Get Your Kid's Attention?  Try These:

-Use the bathroom
-Make a phone call
-Relax on the couch
-Open a chocolate bar

Yeah, That Sounds Worth It

So, if I put the kids in daycare and work, I'll bring home exactly $56 after paying for daycare.

Yeah, That Sounds Worth It

If Your Child Can Use a Smart Phone, They Can Easily Operate Any of the Above

If Your Child Can Use a Smart Phone, They Can Easily Operate Any of the Above

A picture of various household appliances and cleaning supplies.

There is a washing machine, a clothes dryer, and a dishwasher.  Additionally, they show a mop, a broom, and a dust pan.  We also see a couple of sponges, a hand broom, a bottle of cleaning solution, and a bottle of floor cleaner or bleach.

Gun Safety Should Be Taught To Every Child In America

Not only do guns need to remain legal.  Gun Safety Should Be Taught To Every Child In America.

Having One Child Makes You a Parent

Having One Child Makes You a Parent

Having two makes you a referee.

Three or more?  You're basically a bouncer.

I Wish I Was Their Phone

I Wish I Was Their Phone

So they would hold me and look at me all day.

Being a Parent Means Knowing How to Unwrap a Snickers Without Making Any Noise

Being a Parent Means Knowing How to Unwrap a Snickers Without Making Any Noise

Kid Curse Like Sailors In School Yet No One Bats An Eye

Kid Curse Like Sailors In School Yet No One Bats An Eye

But if a kid says a prayer school it becomes offensive.

Children Need To Learn To Take Responsibility For Their Actions So That...

Children Need To Learn To Take Responsibility For Their Actions So That...

They do not become adults believing that nothing is ever their fault.

Happy Middle Child Day!

Happy Middle Child Day!

Oh, you didn't notice that it was Middle Child Day?  Don't worry, no one ever does.

But I Love My Computer

But I Love My Computer

All my friends live in there.

A boy being dragged to the car to go on vacation, clutching his computer.

Today My Child Said Those Three Little Words Every Parent Longs To Hear...

Today My Child Said Those Three Little Words Every Parent Longs To Hear...

"You're Embarrassing Me!"

a dog carried like a child and a child on a leash

Only in America will you see a dog carried like a child and a child being walked on a leash.

Having One Child Makes You A Parent

Having One Child Makes You A Parent

Having 2 makes you a referee.

Having more than 2 makes you a bouncer.