Friday, January 29, 2016

Thursday, January 28, 2016

R.I.P. Cleaning Fairy


R.I.P. Cleaning Fairy

Just found my cleaning fairy dead under my bed.  She was strangled to death by the dust bunnies.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it?


Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it?

'cause I'm Nacho friend anymore!

Tattoo of the Year


Tattoo of the Year

A kid mowing the lawn at the edge of a guy's receding hair line.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Why Does a Chicken Coop Have Two Doors?


Why Does a Chicken Coop Have Two Doors?

Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

That Probably Means You Just Leveled Up


If Your Life Just Got a Little Bit Harder, That Probably Means You Just Leveled Up

Saturday, January 9, 2016

You Know You're Getting Old When the Karate Kid Is 53


You Know You're Getting Old When the Karate Kid Is 53

Little Pickup Loaded Down


Little Pickup Loaded Down

Middle Child Day - Jane Brady, Carlton, Lisa Simpson, and Sue Heck


Today is Middle Child Day

So it'll probably be ignored.

Wish Jane Brady, Carlton, Lisa Simpson, and Sue Heck a happy Middle Child Day.

Creepy Clown Late for a Birthday Party Needs a Ride


You're driving alone, lost, and you see this clown at the side of the road, he says he's late to a birthday party and he asks for a ride.  What do you do?

I Haven't Been Everywhere, But It's On My List


I Haven't Been Everywhere, But It's On My List

Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't

Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them?  Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.

Marriage Is Not 50/50


Marriage Is Not 50/50

Divorce is 50/50.  Marriage has to be 100/100.  It isn't dividing everything in half, but giving everything you've got!

Females Are Simple Bro

Females Are Simple Bro

With them yes mean yes, & no means yes, & no means no, & no means maybe, but maybe means yes, & maybe means no.

Large Assault Riffle


Large Assault Riffle

Who Is This? Call Me Caitlyn


Who Is This?  Call Me Caitlyn

She sounds hideous.  Well, she's a guy, so...

Ten Hours Later, It Was Determined That Was a Lie


You claimed that you were going to watch an hour or two of Making a Murderer that day.  Ten hours later, it was determined that was a lie.

A Nice Lady Appears Bringing You the Towel You Forgot


There is a legend that if you go take a shower and scream out loud "Mom" three times a nice lady appears bringing you the towel you forgot.

If Your Child Can Use a Smart Phone, They Can Easily Operate Any of the Above


If Your Child Can Use a Smart Phone, They Can Easily Operate Any of the Above

A picture of various household appliances and cleaning supplies.

There is a washing machine, a clothes dryer, and a dishwasher.  Additionally, they show a mop, a broom, and a dust pan.  We also see a couple of sponges, a hand broom, a bottle of cleaning solution, and a bottle of floor cleaner or bleach.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Snowy Sidewalk With Flowers Colored on the Sides of the Snow


Snowy Sidewalk With Flowers Colored on the Sides of the Snow

Small Tent to Make a Sandbox


Small tent to make a sandbox.  It gives shade and can be closed up at night to keep cats out.  It also stops grass from growing in the sand.

Should I Sleep? Should I Watch Another Episode?


Should I Sleep?  Should I Watch Another Episode?

Many Three Year Old Have Trouble Staying Within the Lines


Many Three Year Old Have Trouble Staying Within the Lines

Maybe if you practice coloring this turtle, it will help with your parking.

It Snowed!!! Quick, Everyone in the Ditch!


It Snowed!!!  Quick, Everyone in the Ditch!

It's Monday Again...Oh Wait, I'm Retired!!!


It's Monday Again...Oh Wait, I'm Retired!!!

There's a Name For People Without Beards


There's a Name For People Without Beards.

Women.

I Just Burned 2000 Calories


I Just Burned 2000 Calories

That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

The Airline Now Charges For Emotional Baggage As Well


The charges are correct, sir.  The airline now charges for emotional baggage as well.

Nut Bowl Made Out of a Log


Nut Bowl Made Out of a Log

Monday, January 4, 2016

A Little Pain Behind Every "It's Okay."


There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding," a little knowledge behind every "I don't know," a little emotion behind every "I don't care," and a little pain behind every "It's okay."

I'm upset because I have to wear real clothes


I'm not upset that tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work.  I'm upset because I have to wear real clothes

Friday, January 1, 2016

It Took Me 30 Minutes to Find the Butter at Grandma's House


It Took Me 30 Minutes to Find the Butter at Grandma's House

Remember to Write 2016 Instead of 2015 as the Date


My new year's resolution is simply to remember to write 2016 instead of 2015 as the date.

OK! Yes! I Went to My Old Girlfriend's House Last Night! It's My Job!


OK!  Yes! I Went to My Old Girlfriend's House Last Night!  It's My Job!

We All Know "The Chair"


We All Know "The Chair"

Several different chairs with clothes stacked on them.

You Know You're Getting Old When


You Know You're Getting Old When...

You rush home just to be like...

Have Mercy, Not the Hair!


Have Mercy, Not the Hair!

I rely on your memory to remember my own past


We've been friends so long I rely on your memory to remember my own past.

Stop Calling Our House a Box


When I pointed out to my husband that all my crafting stuff fits into one box, he said, "Stop calling our house a box."