Wednesday, July 22, 2015

That Moment Your Partner Calls Hearts Trump


That Moment Your Partner Calls Hearts Trump

A Eucker hand with all spades and two black jacks.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Saturday, July 11, 2015

When You Finish Your Drink And Something Tickles Your Lip


When You Finish Your Drink And Something Tickles Your Lip,
so you have a look in your mug.

Chuck Norris Once Urinated In A Semi's Gas Tank


Chuck Norris Once Urinated In A Semi's Gas Tank As A Joke

That semi is now known as Optimus Prime.

Friday, July 10, 2015

A List of People I Trust To Babysit My Child


A List of People I Trust To Babysit My Child

A person squinting at a tiny piece of paper.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Pizza Barn


Pizza Barn

I guess it is a restaurant that sells pizza built into a barn.

Highway Hotcakes


Highway Hotcakes

A truck pulling a trailer down the highway with a giant stack of pancake on it.

Amish Buggy Pulling a General Lee Decorated Fishing Boat


Amish Buggy Pulling a General Lee Decorated Fishing Boat

It's called Diet because all the other 4-letter words were taken


It's called Diet because all the other 4-letter words were taken.

Fitness Is Like Marriage


Fitness Is Like Marriage

You can't cheat on it and expect it to work.

Wow That Lean Cuisine Really Filled Me Up


"Wow that Lean Cuisine really filled me up," said no one ever.

Eat Them Too



Diet Ideas:  Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Deaths of Children


Hypocrisy

Blaming every law abiding gun owner for deaths of children, while supporting abortion.

Yes she's annoying


Yes she's annoying, but I love her and if you touch her I'll chew your face off.

A little girl examining a big dog with a stethoscope.

Now it is worth $58,065,210,000


If anyone is having a bad day.  Remember that today in 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800.  Now it is worth $58,065,210,000.

Post something passive aggressive in a Facebook status and don't explain the situation to anyone


I know you're upset.  Why don't you post something passive aggressive in a Facebook status and not explain the situation to anyone?  That usually helps.

Click if you think Hilary and Bill Clinton are both liars


Click if you think Hilary and Bill Clinton are both liars.

What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?


What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?

A Northern fairy tale begins like this:  "Once upon a time."

A Southern fairy tale begins like this:  "Y'all ain't gonna believe this!"

Because I Can't Throw A Rock 1155 Feet Per Second


A Gun, Because I Can't Throw A Rock 1155 Feet Per Second

Superman Has Nowhere To Change


We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today.  We removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change.

A 2% Tax Increase On A Breakfast Beverage


200 years ago, you guys were ready to fight over a 2% tax increase on a breakfast beverage.  What happened.