Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Worried Mother Does Better Research Than the FBI


A Worried Mother Does Better Research Than the FBI

Why Yes, I'm a Bit Stressed


Why Yes, I'm a Bit Stressed

Why do you ask?

An animal with big eyes in a suit and tie holding a coffee cup.

I Am Not A Product of My Circumstances


I Am Not A Product of My Circumstances

I am a product of my decisions.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Saturday, December 27, 2014

I'm Just Saying No One Has Seen Batman and I In a Room Together


I'm Not Saying I'm Batman.  I'm Just Saying No One Has Seen Batman and I In a Room Together.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Iceberg! Iceberg!


Iceberg!  Iceberg!

A ship cut out of a cucumber that looks like the Titanic pointed in the direction of a head of Iceberg Lettuce.

I Don't Know Whether To Take a Nap Or Cry About Being Tired


I Don't Know Whether To Take a Nap Or Cry About Being Tired

A toddler with a tired, perplexed look on her face and her hands on her head and face.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Mom Said, "Go Play Outside."


Mom Said, "Go Play Outside."

A guy sitting out side with a computer, a little table, headphones and a chair.  Apparently, playing a video game.

 I use to try to get my parents to let me take a TV outside to play my neighbor's Atari 2600 with him when our parents wouldn't let us play inside.

Me and My Girlfriend. Just Kidding.


Me and My Girlfriend.  Just Kidding.

Two pictures.  The first one what appears like two sets of legs and a couple of pairs of shoes.  the second is a zoomed out picture of a guy bend over with shoes on his hands and feet.  The shoes on his hands are facing the ones on his feet to make it look like there are two people facing each other.

Then It's All Over, and You Get to Fold My Laundry

I'm going to buy you tons of flowers and jewelry for no reason - until we get married.

Then It's All Over, and You Get to Fold My Laundry

Wait For It...Wait For It...


Wait For It...Wait For It...

A truck carrying two port-a-johns going under an overpass that is lower than the port-a-johns sticking up from the bed of the truck.  A red convertible sports car is following right behind it.

I Don't Care What the Song Says. I Don't Smell.


I Don't Care What the Song Says.  I Don't Smell.

Batman with his head down.

It's Not Funny When You're Next


It's Not Funny When You're Next

A kids freaking out getting a shot.  A line of kids behind him laughing, except the kid directly behind him.

Shut Off Their PlayStation


What do the Cubs do when they win the World Series?

Shut Off Their PlayStation

Haters Gonna Hate


Haters Gonna Hate

Toddler in a thick, stiff, colorful, fluffy snow suit.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Dora's Questions Were Really Hard Today


Dora's Questions Were Really Hard Today

A chubby kid walking down the road looking at the ground with a determined look.

Shameless Tagging of friends in Photos Where Only You Look Good


Shameless Awards

Shameless Tagging of friends in Photos Where Only You Look Good

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hidden T.V.



Hidden T.V.

Shut up and take my money.

A TV attached to hinges that come out over the bed.  When it pulls in there is giant picture frame on the back, so it just looks like a portrait hanging on the wall.

You May Be Cool, But You'll Never Be Teddy Roosevelt Riding a Moose In a River Cool


You May Be Cool, But You'll Never Be Teddy Roosevelt Riding a Moose In a River Cool

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

2011 VA Earthquake - We WILL Rebuild


2011 VA Earthquake - We WILL Rebuild

A plastic table and chairs with one chair tipped over on the lawn.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

For Seal


For Seal

Bike with a sign on it that says, "For Seal".

Below is a a seal laying on its side with its flipper up like it is waving.

Elevator Aquarium

Elevator Aquarium

How I Feel Saturday Morning


How I Feel Saturday Morning

A cat laying spread out on its back.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Wait Until The Brownies Are Completely Cool


Wait Until The Brownies Are Completely Cool

A pan of brownies with sunglasses on top.

Waterful Ring Toss


Waterful Ring Toss

you can't call yourself a hardcore gamer until you do this.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

I Don't Always Go To The Gym But When I Do...


I Don't Always Go To The Gym But When I Do...

I have no idea what I'm doing.

A guy with his head under the leg pad on the leg lift machine at the gym.

Snowman Poop


Snowman Poop

I heard that you've been naughty, so here's the inside scoop...
All you get for Christmas is this bag of Snowman Poop!!

I Prescribe Bacon. Lots of Bacon.


I Prescribe Bacon.  Lots of Bacon.

A dog in a doctor's office, wearing a lab coat, glasses, and a stethoscope.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Broke Chip In Dip


Broke Chip In Dip

Sent in recon to save it.  That broke too.

And I Thought That Was Just A Figure of Speech


And I Thought That Was Just A Figure of Speech

A guy trying to unlock his car when the back of his pants and his rear falls off.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

A Pork Nativity Scene


A Pork Nativity Scene

Pork - Because a nativity scene alone may not be enough to upset Muslims.

Monday Morning Workouts Are Always The Hardest


Monday Morning Workouts Are Always The Hardest

A woman crawling on a treadmill.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Bacon Bowl


Bacon Bowl

Turn a muffin tray over and cover with foil.
Wrap your bacon around mounds in a criss cross.  Bake in pre heated over at 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

My 2014 New Year's Resolution


My 2014 New Year's Resolution

To write '2014' instead of '2013'.

Friday, December 5, 2014

SWEET HAWAIIAN CROCK-POT CHICKEN


SWEET HAWAIIAN CROCK-POT CHICKEN

2 lb. Chicken tenderloin chunks
1 cup pineapple juice
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup soy sauce

Combine all together, cook on low in Crock-pot 6-8 hours...that's it! Done! Serve with brown rice and you have a complete, easy meal.

Reading Your Status Updates Is Like Trying to Decipher a Bowl of Alphabet Soup


Reading Your Status Updates Is Like Trying to Decipher a Bowl of Alphabet Soup

Leave a Note in a Library Book


Leave a Note in a Library Book

Smart Car: Now Allowing You To Live Your Childhood Memories


Smart Car:  Now Allowing You To Live Your Childhood Memories

A tiny adult automobile painted like a Little Tikes plastic child car.

I'm Not Sure If My Body Can Handle Much More of This Getting Out of Bed Nonsense


I'm Not Sure If My Body Can Handle Much More of This Getting Out of Bed Nonsense

Whoever Said 'Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk'

Whoever Said 'Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk' obviously never pumped a full bottle and then knocked it over.

Now I Look Around and Wonder If I Like Them


I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me.

Now I look around and wonder if I like them.

A Pair of Jeans Fresh From the Dryer



Anyone who says that I don't exercise has obviously never watched me put on a pair of jeans fresh from the dryer.

I Do Desire We May Be Better Strangers


I Do Desire We May Be Better Strangers

Oh by the Way, You're Out of Milk


I'm not a stalker.  I'm just curious. Oh by the Way, You're Out of Milk.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Girls Compete With Each Other


Girls Compete With Each Other

Women empower one another.

I Fear Not the Man Who has Practiced 10,000 Kicks Once


I Fear Not the Man Who has Practiced 10,000 Kicks Once

I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Last Five Minutes of Exam


Last Five Minutes of Exam

A little kid expressively speedily writing something fast.